Trust – Job 42:1-6

Job is confessing the folly of babbling about things far beyond him – wonders, way over his head, things about God that he had picked up second hand. Job’s admission could be a bit concerning to a blogger, like myself. After all, Proverbs tells us words should be used very wisely and that too many of them lead unavoidably to sin. And yet … we are also told words (of some type) must be proclaimed …

What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. Matthew 10:27

After 39 years of following Jesus, I pray I am beginning to know the difference between babbling and proclaiming, from going on about propositions (however true) and simply telling my story – that place where truth is becoming experiential reality. To be sure, I have babbled. In reviewing my writings between 1995 and 2005 I found much Jōbish- babbling. Beneath all my words, there were subtle questions regarding God’s goodness and his wisdom. While Augustan wrote his Confessions, Cummins had penned his Complaints.

My writing and speaking had the tone of honest inquiry but they were laced with a bitterness I didn’t even see. My religious skin prohibited me from coming right out and thinking it, but I was extremely bothered by a few fundamental, unanswered questions; “Where were you when I needed you God? Have I not been a faithful servant?” “Why do you not speak to me (as you do to others)? Have I not sought you diligently?”

I was a teaching elder in my church, yet I had struggled for years to rest in Father’s love. What was fueling my heart was information and doctrine. This was the equivelent of trying to run a car on wood, hay and stubble. These things might be combustible but they will ruin an engine. It is amazing (and sad) but I had very strong convictions about the bad fuel choking my engine. When I opened my mouth or pressed the keys on my keyboard (often with great force), what came babbling out of my heart, was a loveless, lifeless religious noise.

If your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darknessMatt 6:23

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Cor 13:1

Job, and the rest of us, are sharing space with angels, demons and their commanders. We do not know who to blame at times for our plight. We are all familiar with this line of thinking; “If God is sovereign and if he is good then why  ________?  We then fill in the blank with our complaint. Job and I had erred in how we were completing that sentence. With this supposed honest spirit of inquiry hiding in our hearts, our song is going to be tainted. While I was leading worship, I was really just whistling in the dark.

Whether we perceive our unwanted circumstances as an attack or the woodshed, Hebrews 4:13 must influence our interpretation and response. This brief sentence has been life to me …

                           All things are open and laid bare to him whom we have to do.

If we will persevere through our trials and testings with him, we will emerge in him, armed with an upgraded story, loaded with the power of first-hand experience – truth we can proclaim with authority, because it has become ours.

These earned-words which only we are positioned to share can often slip past barriers others have to church and to sermons. Living-truth that matches character carries authority. Our story becomes a humble and disarming first hand account of God’s involvement in the affairs of men. Our stories are a visible reality that a good God is inclined toward men with mercy and kindness. Our lives and our words will resonate and awaken hope and faith in others.

I had acquired as much Bible knowledge, read as many books and listened to as many teachings as most, but like Job, in many ways …

                                      I had only heard of Him by the hearing of the ear.

Usually what I had to say (with conviction mind you), was second hand. However, after my season of darkness, like Job, I too retracted my questions and repented as best I could of my speculative babbling. Now, I fortunately have some degree of confidence in proclaiming

                                                        But now my eye sees Thee.

If we are in the darkness, let us give thanks because it is there where he will speak to us. What he whispers there in our ears can ultimately be proclaimed from the housetops.

Father, help us to update our stories by listening to you in the midst of whatever our current darkness may be, and whatever we may perceive as its origin. May we emerge from our circumstances in faith having fresh confirmation in our hearts of your goodness, your kind intention and your power. May both the spirit of our questions and our words be flavored by love, by boldness and with a joy that is appropriate for the sons and daughters of a great king and good father, such as You. Amen.

 

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