By God’s grace, in about one month our fifth grandchild will be born. Having grandchildren is one of the reasons I began writing. I simply wanted to let them know who I was. Arrogant? Presumptuous? Whatever the motive, it felt primal. Even though I knew my grandparents, (and even one set of great grandparents), I really didn’t know them, at least not as I would have liked. I have found myself wishing that I knew how my family thought—to have been able to read some of their letters and listen in on more of their conversations. I would have truly loved to know their dreams and their prayers. I would have liked to know what had broken their hearts and what had helped them to heal (or prevented them from healing). These are the types of things that reveal who a person really is. My interviews have yielded some of the where’s and the what’s, but I really wanted to know more of the why’s behind things—“the rest of the story,” you might say, or the “back” story. So, dear progeny, to you I affectionately write. I pray my words will satisfy your curiosity and encourage you hearts.
Dear Family,
I might be a crank. In fact, I have folks, near me who have omitted might from this proposal. You see, I’m not attending a church. This new pattern of worship began when I started telling how Jesus had been liberating me to experience God as my Father as opposed to just talking about God as a Father, who art (a long way off) in heaven. I began telling this story and writing about it but there was a problem; my story did not adequately honor local church authority. In fact I was asked by that authority to stop telling my story in the church. My options became; stay and be silent or go and be me. I’m gone and, not surprisingly, being has become a big part of my story. I have continued to write though. In The Middle With Mystery is my story. My actual proposal is that MwM is our story and ultimately His.
I know my light is neither infallible nor exhaustive, but it is mine and it is bright enough to bring a smile to my heart where there was once a frown. In MwM, I am giving an account of the living hope that is in me by virtue of initiatives taken by the Great I AM, the main character in today’s story and the main character in my life and yours. I regularly propose that story is a big deal. (The church calls them testimonies but that word has gone a little stale for me since it has come to typically mean “how and when we became Christians.”)
Our stories are much more! They are the updated accounts of Christ’s life in us – the reporting of Christ’s resurrected Spirit doing his inside-out transformational work in us – the living stones with which He is building. The evidence that Life has actually taken root is not just a once-upon-a-time confession of faith; its His life, blossoming and bearing fruit. When God’s Word, the Holy Seed is birthed in our hearts and is fleshed out in our daily lives, we are telling our stories. Whether we write or speak, we are the content of God’s Journal – The Light Of The World.
While there were disciples, the word discipleship is absent from the New Testament. Jesus’ idea of following Him was (and is) radically discordant with our traditions and practices. First of all, He left. Then He sent his Holy Spirit to indwell us. The reality of His indwelling Spirit, making us new creations in Christ, the process of living Life in Him, through Him and with Him, being remade into His image—these are the realities of resurrection life. The current ratio of sermons to accounts of resurrection life is the chief difference I see between the New Testament and contemporary evangelical Christianity. I believe the hope of the world rests in flipping this ratio.
A lost world is becoming increasingly indifferent and even hostile to the Christian religion. Is this because they are the rebellious enemies of God or is this because they are hungry for something Jesus promised (namely abundant life) and the Church has failed to deliver? I am reluctant to think of unbelievers as hardened enemies. I think of them more as those who have never actually seen resurrection life. They have heard sermons (or of them) and they have said, “No thank you.” Most of them are simply hungering for a reality greater than the Christian religion. This is where our stories come in.
There are sovereign fingerprints all over our stories, which, with just a bit of help, we can discover. They are especially evident in Moses’ story. He was born to a slave woman, spared from death, and rescued by royalty. He jumps the gun on his destiny, killing an Egyptian, becoming a fugitive and a sojourner and is miraculously intercepted by God, hearing the commissioning voice of The Great I AM. The stories of some (why, I can only speculate) take on some dramatic twists and turns. Mine was no exception.
Moses’ and my pedigree are very different. Where he was the child of a slave, I was born into a family whose name became prominent. Our departures from our native land had some similarities though. He fled his homeland because he had destroyed an Egyptian in a fight; I fled mine because I felt I had destroyed my reputation with a shameful life. (I didn’t know it at the time, but I was also deeply wounded and inferno–angry with everything and everybody in my little town.) However, like Moses, I eventually had a revelation of God as a sojourner in a land of strangers. I don’t know how far Midian was from Egypt, but Tulsa, where my bush blazed, is just a two hour drive east of my hometown. But man was it ever full of strangers!
In his encounter Moses was commissioned to liberate his Egyptian relatives from their slavery to Pharaoh. In my encounter I was commissioned, as I perceive all of Christ’s followers are, to liberate captives from their bondage to sin and lead them by word and example into the promised land of kingdom life. I have at least one more thing in common with Moses: I too jumped the gun on my destiny.
While I was powerfully converted to Christ, a bona fide prodigal son, I very quickly assimilated a lifestyle of elder brother–doing, complying, and comparing. The doing became my identity. I became the great I DO. My identity became entangled and dependent on this doing. Some of this was driven by a deep desire to salvage my reputation, especially in the eyes of my father. The combination of an insecure identity and an unlimited opportunity of great commission–service is a perfect formula for creating an elder brother (i.e. a religious spirit) who dutifully executes his discipleship do-list. The condition of my orphaned heart and the opportunity of religious service made for a perfect storm of religious bondage. Amazingly God was in the midst of this maelstrom. I learned that old stiff religious wineskins cannot hold new wine and that they cannot fulfill their kingdom destiny—to enter that promised kingdom and lead others there.
To you my precious offspring, I want to convey that you too, have a story to experience, and it is no less important than Moses’: it is God who is at work writing it. Moses had his mission and you will have yours. It may be highly visible like his, or it may simply be working in virtual anonymity within your chosen vocation, side by side as a lifeline to others who have not yet gained their freedom.
Moses had his burning bush and so shall you. There are no two of them alike. You were created in the image of God; the unique tinder for that holy flame resides within you. At just the right time and place, I AM will personally blow on His image in you and it will burst into a flame of awareness. At that point, take your shoes off and realize that I AM, out of love, is calling your name.
Learn to be still. Learn to make space. Learn to think and pray and laugh and sing, knowing that you are enclosed by the underlying and overarching goodness of God. You, too, shall be an agent of freedom. May you, like your Teacher, succeed in leading many into their destines and their promised lands. I look forward to watching as the chapters are added to your lives. Remember: the Author of Life is brilliant and has a knack for surprising changes within a plot. When you decide to claim Jesus as Lord, realize this means giving Him advance permission (as the Author) to edit your story as He sees fit. Seize your adventure! May the Lord bless you and keep you.
To Gracyn, Hallie, Sullivan, Hudson and Shepherd, and all who follow, I bless you with with all the love and wisdom this grandfather possesses. Love, always and forever,
Your Crank-Pop
Father, I pray for those who will follow me, whose names are written in Your book of Life. Would you breathe on their inner flames, further igniting their faith. While we know we have all we need in Christ, we also know there is much ahead to experience. We have tasted and seen that You are good and we unapologetically and boldly proclaim our eagerness to meet you in even greater intimacy. Amen.