Isaiah 12:1-6
“For although Thou wast angry with me, Thine anger is turned away, and Thou dost comfort me.” Isaiah 12:1-6
When you read the Old Testament are you ever puzzled or does God and all His ways all just neatly fit together? I have one friend who will not read the OT at all because the strain between it and the NT is just too much for Him. I am not so jaded but I do understand the temptation. Here is one of my question-shaped puzzle pieces (in prayer form); “Father, If Christ died for me while I was yet a sinner (which I assume was out of love for me) when was it that “Thou wast angry with me?”
This was just one of the puzzle pieces that the Bible and life’s circumstances had seemed to scatter intentionally all over my game table. For example; there were myriad puzzle pieces related to God’s sovereignty and my powers of choice. Then, there were just as many related to the interplay between good and evil; “Father, You may not be directly guilty but, as the Creator of all things, You are at least “a person of interest” (as an accessory) where it appears that evil contributes to tragic outcomes.”
I wanted so desperately to complete this puzzle so that I could assemble a composite of God (so that it looked the way I wanted Him to look). “Father please give me a systematic theology so that I can better understand Your ways and follow You”. The problem was that it seemed new (and definitely unwanted) pieces seemed to regularly appear. Even more problematic was that when I would try and envision how they fit in, they seemed to form dark and misshapen images of God’s sovereignty and His goodness. “Lord, If You can do all things. How is it that (insert your own nightmare) happened!?” How can this be! I was unwittingly building a case against God in my own heart! I suspect if you have followed the Lord any time at all you know that the accumulation of unanswered questions can contribute to our “songlessness”.
Many in this place, like my friend boycotting the OT, have given up finding God in the scriptures or in life. For them the strain on the mind and soul is too much. There is an unworkable deal-breaking tension between His goodness and the badness of life. There have been vows made to turn our backs on a God like “this”. If you are in this place can I make a suggestion as one whose song is being restored? Be totally honest with yourself and God about Your anger; your heartbreak; your disappointment, even your unbelief. Speak to Him (scream if necessary) with all the emotional honesty you can rally. I promise You, He can handle it. It will in fact be the music He has been waiting to hear from you – a song filled with honest lyrics.
This is really His specialty anyway. Recall; He is the Man of Sorrows who was misunderstood, rejected, abused; who ultimately launched your question and His at God from His cross; “Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?”. And then there was King David. Listen to the tenor of His songs when His puzzle wasn’t coming together; “Lord, You have forgotten me. How long until I see Thy redemption?!”
All fallen men have a puzzle to assemble. Some find teachers who help them take half the actual pieces and assemble them into a picture of what they would like God to look like. Others, in anger kick over the game table and say to hell with this puzzle. Then, there are those like king David, (who had the commendable heart before God), who, after venting their heartbreak and anger with God, do what Isaiah does. He chooses to sing…..
” I WILL give thanks to Thee, Oh Lord…..I WILL trust…..I WILL not be afraid…..I WILL joyously draw near…..I WILL call upon His name….I WILL cry aloud.”
It may be that for a time our sacrifice of praise is made out of our will even while filled with emotional pain. But every saint who has carried their cross and worked out this aspect of their salvation will testify ‘there is joy in the morning“. Emotions will wain and wounds heal if they are tended to in His presence. Then.. eventually we can sing with Isaiah before the world and a great cloud of witnesses;
“God You are MY strength and MY song and You have become MY salvation. I have learned to joyously draw water from the springs of MY salvation. You have done excellent things in Me and I will tell my story. I will sing My song.”
One last thing and I pray it will be an incentive for you to begin singing. In the great mysterious economy of God He somehow uses those places of our greatest pain to compose our greatest songs. It is in the process of rewriting the music in our hearts that we truly truly can come to know Him. It is in the daily crucible of life where the personal relationship blossoms; where He becomes our’s and we discover we have always been His.
Father, It is our destiny to sing. Teach us to reclaim our songs from what we have viewed as the ash heaps of our life. Help us to create a new file we label “Mysteries” where we can store our unanswered questions until such a time (if ever) we need to know. Even though our minds cannot catalogue and organize You; Thank You that You have given our hearts the capacity to behold You by faith and to sing of Your goodness. May our hearts return to innocence where we always hold You harmless in our appraisal of life. Amen.