Psalm 102:1-28 (comments re: psalms in general)

Some of us have been through rough stretches emotionally. I have gone through seasons where the Psalms were all I could (or would) read. In those times it was the part of the bible that rang the truest to me. I think I found them refreshing because of the gut honesty of the authors. That is a big deal to me – a Holy Spirit “inspired” writer, by way of their example, giving me permission to be gut honest with myself and with God. When I grasped this, my quiet times became not-so-quiet anymore.

I know this is not very reverent but two recurring themes I distinctly recall from those seasons of emotional duress and growing openness were; “WHAT IS THE DEAL!!??” and “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!??”. (Warning: if you pray like this in public, you will forfeit opportunities to lead out in future corporate prayer. Note; If you aspire to public prayer, “shouting” and “weeping” should also be avoided.) I love the Psalms for that reason. They pull the mask of religious pretense.

This psalmist’s days were filled with distress and illness. As he wept and withered away, he pleaded with God, “Hear my prayer! Let my cry for help come before You! Listen to me!” While the anguished writer has no sense of God’s personal attention, he did take his remaining energy and refocus his attention on something he was more confident about. He seemed to reason, “Even if I may have fallen off God’s radar, certainly Israel, the object of His compassion has not.

In his emotional drift, it is as though gut honesty allows the Psalmist’s anchor to catch somewhere way down below the fickle emotional currents and and lay hold of the firm reality of God’s goodness. From this place, emotional equilibrium is restored and he is then able to think, write and proclaim with new clarity and fresh authority.

A brief story. A pastor friend asked me a few years ago, why I thought businessmen did not attend his church (which is ultra-positive and upbeat). I admired him for even asking a question. Most pastors aren’t being paid to ask questions. They are paid to maintain (or build) the building, keep church programs running and preach the Word. Questions can undermine an organization of its momentum and motivation.

My response (which was just an opinion) is; that since I do not really feel safe with perpetually upbeat and positive people. Life is not perpetually upbeat and positive. There is something incongruent that I suspect may be unsettling to businessmen who are mostly realists -people who rarely see idealistic circumstances prevail for long. Businessmen and Psalmists have more in common than the smiling ultra-positive pastor may know.

On occasions I will speak to groups of Christians. When I do, I commonly share my story, which has some messy chapters, emotionally speaking. I usually try and get feedback. The responses are interesting. The religious wonder; “Why doesn’t this brother have the victory? What sin has caused his negative testimony? He must not be in proper submission to authority. He must not have the Spirit. Etc. Etc. Then there are the hungry, those a bit poorer in spirit perhaps; often, for them, just being emotionally honest seems to bring a big deep sigh of relief. They are so glad that someone handling a microphone has struggled like they do and are willing to be honest about it. They seem to grow more comfortable. I think they feel safer. Transparency produces credibility. Credibility is a root of authentic authority. This is one reason why I think businessmen can have credibility/ authority problems with perpetually positive pastors.

This was not intended to be a Joel Osteen dog-pile session. I suspect JO may be the real deal. I hope so. In my story, while it has had its place, I no longer highlight brokenness as my singular cross to bare or as the premier value of the Christian life. (I did at one time in order to justify my own spirituality). In my painful emotional drift (which is also known as depression) I logged many emotionally raw hours in God’s presence, asking questions with bitter undertones and getting very few answers and zero apologies.

My anchor did catch though and a great deal of emotional stability was restored as well as a new spiritual vitality that I had forgot even existed. I can’t emphasize enough how crucial being emotionally honest is in walking with God. I believe people want to be led by those who have shared the trials and the pain they have known. Jesus was a man like us who suffered and was tempted just as we are. This qualifies Him to lead us now. He is our safe place.

Father, thank you for giving us permission to be real and honest. Would you show us how to move forward in creating these safe places for each other. Continue to encourage us in becoming the honest psalmists You desire us to be, who worship You daily in Spirit and Truth. Help us to press on to know You through every emotional barrier that would tempt us to think we are lost or unworthy. Amen.