I awakened this morning with one of the many thoughts competing for my attention being a question, “What does the conversation sound like between us and the Lord?” Truly, “what is that thing (or those things) that we are intentionally giving breath to and shaping into words and speaking privately to this One who is at our door continually?” Is there a private place? A time set aside for this conversation? Are there words actually being spoken? And if so, what is the reply?
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'”
The religious term we have assigned to our relational exchange with God is devotion. Accordingly, I might frame my invitation, “Let’s explore this passage together in this morning’s daily devotion.” That doesn’t even sound right! I wonder if the Lord too doesn’t find us a bit strange sounding as we come before Him to discharge our obligations of devotion so that we can get on with our day. How intimate. I am not sure what being luke warm means or exactly what God meant by spitting these people from his mouth but I could well imagine this bland flavor of devotion being a bit nauseous to Him.
I recently heard President Bush speak. Half of his sentences began with, “Here’s the deal.” (Thanks GW because we really really do want to know what the deal is.) In this passage I believe God is pretty much saying, “Here’s the deal. We have a situation here. I know your deeds but you do not. “
I believe God does want us to see ourselves honestly, but the sad consequence of our fall (in Adam) is that we simply do not. In fact, while we are thinking, all is well with our souls, he can be saying this very posture of the heart is evidence of our poverty. The Spirit is saying that he has eye salve that, when applied, will enable us to see. In the same breath he is saying that he reproves those whom he loves. I believe the salve that opens our eyes and leads us to repentance is generated by the heat of God’s refining and disciplining love. Not all by any means, but some of life’s experiences, are permitted as God’s searchings and testings to see if there are things operating in our hearts that are hurtful to us and those he has entrusted to us.
I believe that even while we remain in the flesh we can walk in the Spirit. This means that while, in our flesh, there is a propensity toward deceit, we, at the same time, have hearts that are now kindred to Truth and we are called to walk in It. (Far greater is the Truth within us than any decaying thing in the world making its appeal to us.) The Truth is always standing at the door of our hearts, knocking and saying, “I want to give you gold refined by fire. I know its almost unbearably hot at times but eventually, if you will persevere, this faith I have given you, that is being purified, will one day, sooner than you can imagine, be of inestimable value.
For the record, I am not advocating a devotional practice of intentional introspection where we take it upon ourselves to search out the dark places of our hearts. I have tried this style of devotion and I discovered God at my door (knocking fairly loudly) with specific disciplines designed to open my eyes to this line of folly. I think this type of fleshly generated repentance is also nauseating to God. There are many voices at our door seeking entrance. Unfortunately, for many of us religious souls, the voice we hear is “You best straighten up and fly right or I will reject you.” If we are to watch over our hearts with all diligence, we must learn to not let that speaker in. He is our accuser. He means us great harm.
What I hear when I consider my relationship with God is not, “You better open this door and do some devotionals or I will be repulsed.” What I hear is more like, “That white garment becomes you. I hope you grow more and more comfortable in it. Sit here on the throne with me. Let’s live out my overcoming life in you together. And, by the way, I love you and our time together. Let’s keep doing that.” This is pretty much what the conversation between the Lord and I sounds like especially when I diligently watch over my heart, keeping the accusatory voice at bay. Because I cherish the flow of our conversation (not a devotional), I am more alert than ever to watch over my heart in this way.
What a precious thing it is that we might call you our father and friend. Oh Lord, that we might not debase and undermine our relationship with formulas and techniques. Help us to reconsider our orientation to you in light of your finished work that has clothed us in your very own righteousness and given us bold access to your throne. Teach us to presume, in childlike wonder, upon your goodness. Give us ears to hear what you are saying to your church. Let it be.