Matthew 3:13-17
I sincerely pray that today, you will at least read Henri Nouwen’s words in
the Blue Book that are drawn from his book :Turn My Mourning Into
Dancing. It seems every time I turn around these days, I am confronted
over and over again with the mystery of Christ in us the hope of glory. (Col
1:27) Nouwen (this am) does not disappoint;
“In Christ we live as God’s beloved before we were born and after we have
died; all the circumstances in between will not negate that.”
How did your baptism take place? Did it have any similarities with Jesus’
baptism? I confess, beyond the presence of water, my baptisms did not. I
say baptism(s), because I had two. The first was as a new born in the First
Presbyterian Church of Enid Oklahoma early in 1953. That one was not a
dunking. It was a sprinkling. And…judging by the fairly clueless and godless
behavior of my first 23 years, a dunking might have been better. The
second was a dunking that took place in the Tulsa Edison high school
swimming pool in the spring of 1976. I don’t know if it was the fullimmersion,
the chlorine or what, but things were much different after that
one. I am being silly of course. The difference on this occasion was that I
had Christ in me, altering my nature.
It didn’t happen as I was emerging from the waters of my baptism #2, that I
heard a voice from heaven trumpeting, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I
am well pleased.” It happened a few months later when I spent a night in
revelry, a lifestyle I had been perfecting since I was 16. Based on the
hollow and lifeless feeling that was oppressing my soul the next day, I was
certain that I had lost my salvation.
There were familiar voices in my head playing; “Robby, you could screw up
an anvil with a rubber mallet. You have lost the best thing that you ever
had. How typical of you to ruin this jut like you ruin everything. You are a
looser!” I had not heard this voice, this loud since surrendering my life to
Christ a few months earlier. This was the voice of death. It had been trying
to track me down and kill me for years. I cried out to the Lord as I was
driving back to Tulsa from Enid; Lord, I cannot bear to live without You!
Even though I deserve it, please, please, please do not abandon me. I
simply will die without you.”
What happened next is why I am not a Baptist (or a Presbyterian). I told
this story to a few of them and their response pretty much uninvited me
from their company.
Why, I do not know, but I began to weep. My weeping turned into a torrent
of emotion, the likes of which I had never experienced. It was so alien to
me, I thought for certain I was loosing my mind along with my salvation.
The next hour was the sweetest and most powerful 60 minutes of my life. I
will not relate it all here, but suffice it to say, the Lord got it across that I too
was His beloved and He was well please with me. Given His most excellent
communication skills, He also got it across that He would never leave nor
forsake me. Oh yes, one more thing that He made resoundingly clear: the
name of Jesus IS MAJESTIC in all the earth. (Friendly advise; Make sure
you have a very secure bond of friendship before you share extra-biblical
encounters with bible-only revelation folks) Oh, that they would have issued
a muzzle to me when I got saved!
This living real-time word put a hammer blow to the old voices of my past. I
regret to say however that my revelation did not liberate me completely
from them. There were almost three decades where those voices were
spoken much more subtly to me but no less life threatening. Condemnation
is every bit as potent in the context of religion as it is in sin.
I have never doubted my sonship since that day. I was certainly a messedup
son at many places along the trail. But, I was His messed-up son. Being
His son is the truest and most powerful thing about me. Who are you? I am
Rob Cummins, God’s son. As Nouwen said, “…..all the circumstances in
between will not negate that.: And by the way, I forgive all you Baptists and
Presbyterians who shunned me. In fact, I love you.
Father, by whatever means it requires, permit us to discover and live our
lives out of our birthright-identities; that in their secure and restful posture,
they may reflect how generous, kind, strong and faithful a Father You are.
And, may we be muzzled until such a time as our hearts are truly
conquered by Your love and our words and deeds are adequately flavored
by Your grace. Amen.