Psalm 31 (Since Isaiah 61:1-3 was recently used, today I am keying off of this weeks’s Psalm)

For myself and for all those I know and care for, I deeply desire that we enjoy the deepest revelation and friendship possible with God. When I am writing to you, I am doing so with a confident passion that it is God’s desire to help us personally receive His most valuable of all gifts – His Fatherhood and His Friendship. I also write with a painful awareness that for many of us we do not see this happening and we really don’t know why. We feel stuck. Left out. I sincerely pray that my words today will be filled with grace to move us off of our religious-high centers where we may be hung-up and spinning our wheels.

We looked in on Jacob earlier this week, at his all-night wrestling match with God which I think is a picture of our own lives. I was thinking how much like a psalm it might sound if we were to have a move-by-move account by Jacob during this struggle and how beneficial to our walks that would be. As I read Psalm 31 today, I believe I heard David doing this very thing, offering color-commentary on his life and relationship with God. In his words I hear pain yet also a childlike presumption that God is aware of the troubles of his life.

When David says, “In Thee O Lord, I have taken refuge…be Thou to me my fortress“, I hear Him saying, “Lord, it is you and me together in this life. I have no other plan, no other recourse. My strength is gone. I am in distress yet my times are in Your hand”.

Recently I wrote, “If we will lean into our lives (wrestle, if you like) with the understanding that it is with God with whom we have to do (Heb 4:13) and that in Him, we live and move and exist (Acts 17:28), we will eventually discover that all the give and take; all the pressures of life, from wherever they come, are a part of our prolonged struggle as well as our unprecedented opportunity. I am persuaded that for those of us who will persevere in working out our lives face to face with God, that He is going to restore our identities which are essential in the fulfilling of our destinies.” I am persuaded it is only in perseverance we personally discover the all-things- work-together truth of Romans 8:28 and the count-it-all-joy truth of James 1:2.

From personal experience, I think I have at least a partial grasp of why we struggle in our relationships with God. We work overtime to avoid brokenness by going around it as opposed to going through it. At some level we feel our pain, we know our weaknesses and failures but we learn how to keep them at bay. We figure out a way to cope, how to make life work.  The paths around our issues are typically busy schedules, drugs, hobbies, really anything will do as long as it keeps our minds off  the gnawing unresolved issues of our hearts. The more religious ones of us dream we are pressing on as we read the books, as we go to the conferences, as we get the training, as we fast and pray and as we attend and serve in our churches. (It is no wonder silence is a pathway for saints back into the heart of God.)

And yet we zealots too, often stay the same. Many of us not only stay the same but our disappointments metastasize into debilitating, usually well-managed anger. From this place we just try to move on and hide away our dissapointment and despair. If we don’t go through our pain, we will just go through the motions; and if we just go through the motions our hearts are doomed to entanglement with religion.

My working definition of religion is any system of thought or practice whereby the doing of it causes me think that I have gained the favor of God. If we are just going through the motions of attending church or even leading the church, why are we doing it if we don’t think we are gaining favor or blessing from God? It is easy, very easy, to make life work in the church. We can go to work serving the Lord with the unresolved issues of the heart serving as the unseen and unholy driving motivation of all we do. There are plenty of benefits available to those who will work hard in Christianity; gold stickers, awards bibles, social acceptance, titles, offices, tasks to keep us busy and distracted from the real issue of our wounded and insecure hearts.

However, If we are just going through religious motions in our serving, what has happened in the temple of our hearts where Truth aspires to reign and liberate us from every lie the enemy has sown into our lives?  If we are busy going through the motions, reinforcing our identities in Christian activity, we have been trapped. The good news? For some of us, in His mercy, Jesus will come into the temples of our heart and kick over the money changer’s tables where we are engaged in the unholy and enslaving commerce of religion.

The irony is that our pain and our sense of failure, when entrusted to God, face to face, as the One with whom we ultimately are dealing with, over time, builds the relationship of security and confidence with God we have wanted all along. The encouraging news is that God wants that even more than we do and has made a provision for us to receive it. Facing the unholy things that drive us (wrestling with, if you like) face to face with the Lord, is the primary way that He transforms us from glory to glory.

I am not saying that award bibles, titles and offices are inherently wrong but they can be if we haven’t been moving through our painful core issues face to face with God, move by move, as did Jacob and David and most (if not all) saints who have come to know God well. Our pain is not evidence of His absence as we wrongly perceive. Our pain is crucial to our growing intimacy with God.  Our pain often is indication where lies have become embedded in our lives.  Our pain can become our place of encounter with Him – the One who is well aquatinted with pain and sorrow. It is our destiny to tell our story of how he transformed us from glory to glory – our own personal discovery of how He has been in the midst of our darkness with us and led us out into the marvelous light of His Truth.

While it is natural to flee the thing that brings us pain, we must do something counterintuitive. We must hold onto God by letting go. (Please forgive the cliche.) We must intentionally entrust all that we are, however bad we think that may be, to God. Those who follow this course ultimately have a story to tell of the goodness of God in the presence of their dire circumstances within and without. These saints can look backward and see the good and strong hand of God taking the worst events of their lives and building things that will last for eternity – all born out of intimate relationship with Him.

So, the seeking is in the resting. Over time, just living out our lives, especially in those times where we are wrestling, our hearts gradually prove, through our life experience with God, that He is patient, powerful, loving, kind and altogether trustworthy. Again, the irony; the heart would have never gained this eternal revelation without those trials. Whether the trial is a “test” or an “attack”, I don’t think it matters. If we process life, and all it brings us, face to face with Jesus, discovering Him as our life, we will have an overcomer’s story to tell. Our testimony will emit light and enemy strongholds will be exposed and conquered. His kingdom will have come and His will will have been done.

Father, thank you that today is the day of salvation. Help us to receive Your love right now, not at some future date when we think we will be more worthy of it. In the give and take of our lives help us to lay hold of that for which You laid hold of us. Help us to even now embrace You in the midst of our circumstances. Grant us Your eternal perspective on our brokenness that we may press on to know You and to make You known. Amen.