John 21:1-19

Jesus had come and gone. His life on earth had begun as a divine embryo and concluded at His ascension as a glorified resurrected human. The offering of His sinless life met the demands of God’s justice, giving any human being who would believe in Him the power to also ultimately become, like himself, a fully realized human being.  John, the disciple of whom it was rumored Jesus especially loved, explains his motives for recording his account;

…these things have been written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and in believing you may have life in His name.

So, the first question God asks us is, “Do you believe in me?” An honest “yes” reply is our modest contribution to the laying of the foundation stone; the human spirit is awakened (regenerated) and the possibility of spirit to Spirit communion with God is restored; eternity is entered into for those born anew. The next question however will determine what gets built on the new foundation, “Do you love Me?”

How do you respond to this question when He asks? For many years his question deeply troubled me. I wanted to say with Peter, “Lord, you know that I love You” but that response would get hung up somewhere in my conscience which was incorrectly informing me that my life did not meet the criteria that would permit such a reply. My foundation was in place and I enjoyed God’s favor in many ways but I was still troubled because I believed nothing was being built on that foundation. I believed construction delays were being caused since I was not feee to honestly say, “Lord, I love You”.

During this season I was dogged by a sense of not measuring up. I was devout; reading, praying, studying, serving, etc., holding out for myself a faint hope that one day I might get it together, that I might somehow qualify, turn that corner and break into that place of abiding, freedom, intimacy and power.

Ultimately God, in His kindness, which felt severe at times, led me to repentance for my works– oriented heart. He had heard my repeated cry to “search me and know my heart; to try me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there be any hurtful way in me and lead me in the everlasting way“. (Psalm 139:23,24) Here is the real question – How can the idea that we are not measuring up – that there are unmet criteria in our lives, even exist along side our stout confessions of having received the gift of salvation?! It is because we are not immune from the lies that have been planted in our hearts.

Whether you call it discipleship, transformation, spiritual formation, spiritual warfare or sanctification, there is an ongoing relationship between us and God. Since its spread out over our life time we can think of it like the process of constructing a building. The project has an architect,  a general contractor, a location, a plan, a foundation, a superstructure, a general contractor and at least one very important manual laborer; us – that party that can show up for work and participate in the process and who also has the option of sleeping in, going on strike, calling in sick or retiring.

Not participating is just insane because if we are not on the job, the enemy is going to sneak into the project and steal materials, vandalize whats being built, scribble on the plans and disrupt the process however he can. And he is a master disrupter and destructor. My point is that there is an ongoing process. Call it a battle or a building; its simply our cooperation with the Spirit of Truth who sees our hearts, who knows where the hurtful ways are where the enemy is exploiting us. The Spirit simply invites us daily to reveal to us these areas where the hurtful ways have bound us and restricted the liberty and animation that we were destined for as inheritors of abundant life.

The hurtful way the Holy Spirit revealed in me which was delaying construction was the lie that I had to measure up. It was hurtful because it undermined all that Grace had planned to build in my life. It turns out this was not a part of the contract provisions.

Today, because God exposed and dealt with my heart which had become conditioned to laboring in a vacuum of grace, I freely can say back to the Lord, “I love You”. This is a new and beautiful part of the structure for sure! Today my conscience informs me correctly that I am God’s possession and He is mine. We are each other’s treasure! More has been built on the foundational reality of Jesus Christ as my savior since this change than I could have ever imagined possible. It really IS FINISHED! Jesus’ sinless life met all the criteria for acceptance that I would ever need to concern myself with! Compliance, believe it or not, as a criteria for relating to God is a nonsensical and ultimately destructive notion.

My guess is that John not only out-raced Peter to the empty tomb but he also was the first to personally find rest in God’s love. Recall he rested his head on Jesus chest as a friend who did not labor for His approval. He was just enjoying God’s immediate company. I do not believe that Jesus had any greater love and preference for John than He did for the other disciples or us for that matter. I believe John’s confidence in God’s love simply allowed him to enjoy what has always been available to all. His presumption naturally set him apart and the rumors followed.

My walk with Christ began with a literal inundation of God’s love after I first believed; then I alienated myself from that place of rest – compensating for deep-seated insecurities by attempting to meet what I believed was the criteria for discipleship. For some that criteria may be the observance of religious rites or rituals; it may be the disciplines you have subjected yourself to; perhaps it is adherence to a code of life you have constructed for yourself. Well then… congratulations for your compliance efforts! Enjoy the brief applause (even if its only your hands clapping) because you have just received your reward in full.

If we insist that we must have something to comply with, I would suggest a simple something – a heart that is steeped so thoroughly in God’s grace that it is privately and continually saying to Him, face to face, “Lord, I love you. I love you!! I love you!!!”  Our declaration would not be made because we think we have been scoring relatively high in regard to compliance, production or performance (easing our consciences) but because we have finally realized experientially in our hearts that God has loved us first. With His cross (the demonstration of this love) he has permanently and totally demolished the basis for our guilt-laden introspection and activities. This is the really good news about the Good News!

Note; I can testify that a heart laboring for approval paints a huge works-shaped bullseye on us for the enemy’s fiery missiles. When the missile hits, the result is initially condemnation, then our response follows – either depression or more typically (for the devout) a redoubling of religious resolve that is driven more by fear of God than love for Him. Working without resting produces religion – perhaps the most hurtful way that could ever be nurtured in the heart of a man. Religion (based on the idea that something we can do could ever win God’s favor) might look impressive but it will just add to the horribly loud and discordant noise religion has made and is making in the world – driving people away from the Father instead of toward him.

Father, we pray that you would assault the strongholds of religion in our hearts – these places that are always teetering between either self- condemnation or self-congratulations, these places where we measure our worth by our compliance to human standards of moral performance. Destroy this type of “religion” and teach us to instead rest our head confidently back onto Your chest and live in rest and serve You out of an authentic love. Amen.