Mark 10:46-52
The story of Jesus and a disabled outcast has provoked my imagination…
If my kids were interviewing me for posterity and they were to ask, “Dad, why do you believe that Jesus still heals people?” I would first say,
“Kids, thank you for not making a patent understanding of God’s mysteries (which include healing) a basis for our love for each other. Our unity of spirit is larger and stronger than any bonds that intellectual synchronization of doctrine could ever create. Trust me, I appreciate and respect your question. It is one I have asked myself often. In all honesty, for many years, the question haunted me.”
“Why did it haunt you Dad”
“I suppose, putting it bluntly, it is because deferred hope (in regard to healing, – especially my own) had made my heart sick. As I have told you, my life in Christ began in 1976 like being shot out of a cannon. Because of the immediate changes Jesus did in my heart and the love that He inundated me with, I had every reason to believe that He was the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb 13:8). I had every reason to believe that what I read in the new testament was a baseline of what God’s will in heaven looked like when it was done on earth. I had every reason to believe that God was still in the business of healing people.
As I told others, the story of my transformation (and I could not shut up) and my expectations to see this awesome Jesus setting other captives free and restoring sight to the blind, I noticed a cloud forming between myself and other (more mature?) Christians. What’s up with this!? Upon hearing my story, some abruptly walked away. Other mentor types seem to try and gently break the news that Jesus really isn’t doing that healing thing like that anymore. Really?! This was quite disorienting to me as a young impressionable Christian.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I had stumbled out onto one of the larger fault-lines that separate believers from each other in the body of Christ. On one side of the divide there were those very composed Christians who believed miracles and the gifts were dispensed with after the death of the apostles. Sola Scriptura was there mantra. The bible was the only source of divine inspiration for them. The Holy Spirit’s job seemed to be solely to interpreter the scripture.
I sincerely didn’t want to be rude to this segment of my new found family but I knew God was still revealing Himself to men and personally speaking to them because I had encountered Him (or He had encountered me) and I had heard His voice. As I would attempt to explain what I meant, I watched the cloud that had formed frequently become stormy and even threatening. The right hand of fellowship had been withdrawn. When this happens in your family, it creates a sick feeling. At least it did to me.
Then, on the other side of the fault line there were those who seemed a bit less composed, especially when they expressed their worship in song. This group appeared to be excited (like myself) that Jesus was the same now and forever and they were zealous and engaged in exploring (with the gifts of the Spirit) new testament expressions of life together. Although there were plenty of things to raise an eyebrow about (or even a scripture-based question), this was the context where I first encountered Christ. And,..since it seemed this tribe was pursuing a biblical reality (and that they were the only ones who would accept me) I threw my lot in with them.
However over time, my heart became a bit sick in this context as well after I saw hundreds of prayers for healing go unanswered (many of which were prayed in behalf of my body). I believed I also had good cause to loose faith in the character of many charismatic leaders. Who is steering this ship?! That was not only disheartening; that felt scary.
Eventually, I became so disheartened theologically that I could not pick up either Charisma magazine or Christianity Today, which generally represent the views on either side of the divide. Each seemed to write with smug satisfaction that theirs was the only spiritual reality. The more prideful and insecure would even aim their gospel guns across the line in attempts to pick off those they believed to be the more obvious heretics . I have been caught in many a crossfire and, to be honest, doctrinal arguments whizzing through my brain and over my head have effected my heart in a sickening way.
As I have continued to trek along the fault lines, how often I have thought I would love to have a systematic “air tight” theology that removed the mystery and answered the myriad questions that presented themselves to me. But, the Lord, I believe, has prevented that. It seems that “mystery” is the context where faith, hope and love must grow. In my personal experience, the absence of certainty is the odd yet fertile place where faith grows best.
I have made a choice in my walk with Christ that I am not going to be offended when I do not always see healing how and when I want it. I am going to live presumptuously that Christ is still a healer and pray accordingly as opportunities present themselves. I am going to persevere through the barriers that suggest Jesus no longer heals and that the gifts of the Spirit no longer exist. Just because I, or others, haven’t experienced something does not prove it no longer exists. Who Christ is, in the essence of His Being – a healer, is not altered by our incomplete embrace of His ongoing ministry. We want outcomes to hedge our faith bets. God wants faith to precede outcomes and says that “faith” itself is the assurance of these things we hope for.
Faith has always been about laying hold of unseen things, things from another more enduring reality. I believe the One who “did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many” is still asking, “What do you want Me to do for You?”
Perhaps, like Bartemaeus, we too have issues with our vision. Perhaps, the cry from our hearts should be the same as his, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on us !” If we feel some heartache in regard to the divisions within the Body of Christ or we find a longing for a deeper reality that includes miracles, perhaps in the midst of our deferred-heart pain, if we will bear it for a while, we will hear Jesus asking us, “What do you want me to do for you?”
It is my belief that the spirit of this prayer for His intervening mercy is growing in the Body of Christ and its many expressions are reaching our unchanging God who touched Bartamaeus. I believe we too, if we will persevere and not feint by giving into disappointment, will one day, perhaps very soon, hear Jesus say to many, “Go your way; your faith has made you well“.
Kids, thanks for permitting me to tell my story. I know I tend to ramble on.”
Father, open the eyes of our hearts. Grant us the spiritual courage to ask questions and the intentionality to lay hold of that for which we were laid hold of – things which eye has not seen nor ears have heard – these good works that You have prepared for us to walk in. Lord, may Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.