by RobertCummins | May 9, 2016 | 19. The Resurrection
I am the disciple that Jesus loved. (from John 20:2)
This was John’s declaration of himself. This was how he thought of himself, and that reality shaped his identity. His head had rested only recently upon his Master’s chest. He was conditioned and entrenched in the reality of God’s personal affection for him. By most religious standards, John, in his simple childlike devotion, was outrageously presumptuous about His relationship with God. He had zero doubt regarding Jesus’ fondness for Him. He did not introspect about His fallen nature and the possible rejection by God it might portend.
John (who was certainly not without sin) had lived with Him for three years and Jesus had never once harped on his depravity. John’s soul processed everything through this filter of unqualified acceptance, and, consequently, he was spared the religious contortions of the soul that plague so many believers. He simply was not stalked, as many are, by guilt and shame.
The tremendously good news is that there is a safe place for us in Christ where we are immune from guilt and shame. In that space, which John pioneered, we can live joyously free in our identities, which are rooted and founded in Christ. Our new identities, freshly resurrected with Him, are eternally superior to our fallen identities that have been buried with Christ. Our lives, like John, can exhibit that we are those disciples whom Jesus loves. As we find our home in the broad, safe expanse of His love, we in turn will create safe space and shelter for those God has situated near us.
Father, may we lay hold of Your Life; may Your life lay hold of us. May Jesus be proclaimed from our lives and lips with a clarity yet to be heard in this earth—that we are the disciples whom You have loved. May our words and deeds make a clear declaration that You are risen from the grave and that You are exposing the lies of Satan, evicting him from his strongholds, reclaiming all that is rightly Yours and transforming Your Church. May every expression of our lives reflect that ours is a good and a sovereign God. Father, in our freshly acquired joy and freedom, receive the reward of Your sufferings. You are indeed astonishing. Amen.
by RobertCummins | May 17, 2015 | 19. The Resurrection
John 21:1-25
Its so easy to give up. We fail. We get hurt. We sin. We go into hiding. Maybe not outwardly but inwardly we retreat to a place we think is safe, where our disappointments cannot follow. It is a lie of course but since the garden we are practiced in this survival tactic. I believe that is where we find Peter in today’s passage.
Peter had made the horrific yet healing discovery that he was not who he thought he was. He was not the fearless disciple who would die with Jesus if it came down to that. He was not the friend he perceived himself to be. He was not the insider who understood how things were going to play out. He was neither brave, loyal nor bright. Peter likely was reeling inwardly without the moorings of his old false self. Yet Peter was about to be reused once again by Jesus whose courage, friendship and wisdom cannot fail.
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?”Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time,“Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep. (15-17)
As was Jesus’ practice. He did not condemn failure. He simply drilled down into that place where Peter had retreated and threw him the life line. While Peter was flailing about, inwardly drowning in his self-pity and self-condemnation Jesus draws his attention away from those red herrings to the thing that will allow Peter to regain his buoyancy, the love that was established between Peter and Jesus, the love that was never in the least disturbed by Peter’s miserable performance.
It was as if Jesus just fast forwarded past every awful thing that Peter had been rehearsing in the privacy of his own thoughts. Jesus just kept casting the life line until Peter finally abandoned his flailing attempts to tread water. Jesus had to disturb Peter. He had to grieve him to rescue him. Jesus had to descend into Peter’s personal hell to save him once again.
Never did Peter’s cowardice and abandonment of Jesus come up. The remedy was not penance; it was simply obedience to the great commandment; go love others as I have loved you. There was no benefit for Peter to continue in his dark introspection. He simply needed to recognize that being loved by Jesus was sufficient and his life would be found by giving it away as Jesus had always modeled for him. Resurrection life was being realized as his old identity was dying.
There over breakfast, Peter was restored. Jesus’ rescue mission established Peter’s identity as his beloved friend and crystalized his vocation – to love others. Is He not endeavoring to always do the same thing for us? We need to ask ourselves, how is Jesus disturbing us? Where are we flailing away, mulling over our fallen natures and their profound power. Perhaps Jesus is saying to us as well,
“How is that working out for you? Why don’t you simply acknowledge that you have been crucified in me and raised to eternal life in me. The old man truly is finished.”
Meditating on our fallen natures is so often our red herring. His life is our life. His life eternally displaces the old life. Honoring our depravity must be replaced by celebrating His triumph. We must simply abandoned that old dirge we have been taught and go out and love our neighbors.
Father, help us to see the life lines you are throwing us. Help us to see where we are flailing away in our own energies. May you receive the reward of your suffering. Lead us into the rest that is ours in Christ. Thank you for your long suffering efforts to rescue us.
by RobertCummins | May 16, 2015 | 19. The Resurrection
Mark 16:1-8
I find the dates and events of history interesting but the personalities who helped fashion that history are fascinating. I love to hear their stories in order to learn the whys beneath the whats. Since everything begins with our hearts, I like knowing the motives behind the deeds. That is why Mary Magdalene stands out to me in today’s passage. I have imagined a scene where Mary has been asked to tell her story.
In my imagination I see her having outlived her fellow disciples. She is an old woman now whose body is nearly worn out yet whose spirit is still vibrant. Life itself stirs in her eyes and is heard in her voice. It is her 70th birthday and she is surrounded by the community of saints she has lived among for so many years. In our scene, she has just received a gift that seems to have taken her voice away and filled her eyes with hot tears. She and the room are silent but the air is filled with an exotic aroma. In her lap with the lid removed is an alabaster vial.
After many minutes has passed she dries her eyes and addressed her benefactors, “I am speechless with gratitude. How could you have done this!” Still coming to terms with the extravagence, she blurts out, “Oh my, oh my! I know you precious people. How you must have sacrificed to do this! Gripped by a fresh thought and now trying to make eye contact with every person in the room, she says with a level voice, “As you know, I am familiar with the cost of such things.”
The little girls, taken in by the object’s smell and appearance mobbed Aunt Mary, assaulting her with a barrage of questions. With her grip slightly tighter on her vial she allows each child to touch it and take in it’s potent fragrance. As each child takes their turn, Mary says to the larger gathering, “Your gift has taken me back to past events, some of which I recall nearly every hour and then again, to other things I have not thought of for years. Many of you know the general drift of it but none of you have heard the whole story. May I disclose to you dear friends a bit more of it? If it is alright with the parents, let’s send the children out of doors for a bit. Ok?”
“I was born into a very very poor family with too many mouths to feed. I was always hungry for both food and attention. Both were In short supply in this house where, of necessity, all were greedily focused on the business of not starving. From my first memories, I recall every one being chased out the door in the morning with the understanding that we were to beg, borrow and steal anything that might help sustain us. The streets were where I lived until the law intervened taking my parents away as the ringleaders of their own little den of thieves. This was when I was probably about 10. I had not yet become a woman.
We children scattered like rats when the authorities came. I never knew what happened to some of my siblings. Most of us were taken in by extended family or like me, by an opportunist who saw in me possibilities. At first I was in awe of the portions of food I was given and the attention I received. Never had I experienced anything like this. Compared to my street existance I thought I had become a princess until my ward began letting men come into my room. It was then I realized I was a slave and I was going to be used.
I was a street-wise kid, so I knew about prostitutes. They marketed themselves in public. But I did not know that brokers who sold their wares privately marketed children. Even though I was already a hate-filled little thief, I was still a child in my body when horrible horrible things began to happen.” Mary went silent again for a long time. When she began again, she whispered, “Lord forgive them, they didn’t know what they were doing.”
What was left of my innocense was taken from me and I assure you, I forgave no one. You might ask, “Why didn’t you run a way?” I did a few times and sadly I returned because, as filthy as it was, it was preferable to starvation. As I grew into a woman I was receiving more and more attention. I would be a liar if I were to tell you that I did not enjoy it. This is how I became a prostitute.
You learn quickly what you must do if you want to eat and to not get hurt. I learned my trade well. My wages were all there was to my miserable existence. Every coin I earned was my treasure. I had paid dearly for each of them. Doing what I did causes things to die inside you. Hope dies. Love dies. Any semblance of goodness dies. In its place grew a hard and haughty spirit that lived only for its next coin. There was really nothing else, nothing in my heart at all except…” and Mary lifted the alabaster vial from her lap.
“When I was 18, I took my coins and I bought a vial nearly identical to this. Nothing had ever given me as much pleasure as my alabaster vial full of spikenard. It was a treasure by anyone’s standard, even a princess. This vial was really all I had to show for my life. It was the center of it. I would have never even loosened my grip on it had I not met the One in whose name we gather. Here is what happened….
It was approaching evening and all the women with families were returning to their homes. As their day was concluding, mine was just beginning. This was when I saw three men coming toward me. “Ah customers” I thought. As I made my typical moves toward them, I noticed two of them peeled off as if to avoid me, only one kept walking – straight at me. “Oh no!” As he came nearer I recognized who he was. It was the Rabi from Galilee, the one rumored to be the Messiah. I had just turned to run, knowing he would make me feel small and dirty like all religious people do, when he said, “Mary wait. We must talk.”
I was frozen in my tracks. “We must talk? About what? My sin?” Something volcanic within me was rising up. It was undiluted hatred. It was boiling in me. With uncontrolled anger and arrogance, I unloaded on him. “You want to talk about my sin! Well my sin is my vocation. If you want anything from me, show me your money or get out of my face!” I was screaming, “Time is money.” He just said, “Mary, I’m Jesus and I didn’t come to talk about your sin.”
When I heard the name “Jesus”, I felt as if I were being ripped in two. Something in me wanted so desperately to respond civilly to this person who had approached me in kindness. Yet something more powerful was drowning that voice with vile thoughts and utterances. It was as though someone (or someones) other than I were speaking. It was my throat and lips forming the oaths but it was no longer my voice speaking. I vaguely remember my arms flailing away when the last thing I heard was Jesus forcefully saying, “Come out of her!”
I awakened lying on the pavement. The first eyes that met mine were those of Jesus. I immediately said, ” My sin is my daily bread. Please leave me. I am lost.” His eyes never left mine. He said again, “Mary, I did not come to speak about your sin. I came here to tell you to sell all that you have and come follow me.” I said, “Teacher, I have no wealth to give away.” His eyes were piercing my soul when he ask, “So, you have no treasure?” My mind went immediately to my alabaster vial. I once again went silent. He and I both knew. He took my hands and helped me to my feet. Without letting go of them, looking into my eyes, he said, ‘Go and sin no more.’ Since it has been spoken of ever since, everyone knows what happened that evening at the party I crashed.
Returning from her reverie, she said to all, “That is an untold part of my story and I suspect, in it’s own way, it is yours as well, isn’t it?” For those of us who follow him, he is faithful to reveal competing treasures. And finally, thank you again for such a gift. This kind of irresponsible extravagance is exactly the kind of stunt he would pull. Bless you all.”
Father, Please show us where our treasures are so that we are not invested in the wrong kingdom. May your Words demolish the defenses we have placed around our idols. Deliver us from evil Lord and let us discover that You Yourself are our daily bread.
by RobertCummins | May 14, 2015 | 19. The Resurrection
from Luke 24:13-34
And we had our hopes up that he was about to deliver Israel.
The idea that God is about to do a new thing is a cornerstone among the Christians and I understand why. Think about it, since the mercies of God are fresh every morning what could be more predictable than a new thing. Yet, for humans whose thoughts and ways are much lower than God’s the potential of getting the particulars of that new thing wrong are high given the theological, dispositional, experiential and physiological variables that color our perception. But oh how we love our particulars.
Have you ever gotten your hopes up that God was about to do something new, sometinng that has failed to happen? If you have been a follower of Christ for anytime at all you probably said, “Oh yeah.” Let me ask, “What happened to your faith when the new thing did not play out? How did you respond In the months and years since that new thing failed to materialize?” From this crossroad there are a number of paths one can take.
#1 Victims
One path involves being emotionally wounded and blaming others (including God) for crushing our expectations. The travelers of this trail becomes victims who carry the heavy loads of bitterness and resentment. They may abandon the notion of a good or a sovereign God altogether because he is perceived as either the perpetrator of or an accessory to whatever the perceived injustice was. This trail just goes in circles. Even though it leads nowhere its travelers generally go there proudly.
#2 Users
Another trail that is taken involves re-imaging God such that His goodness and sovereignty are discounted or altogether removed from the equation. The reasoning along this trail is tortured but it goes like this: I am a child of royalty … God gives me the desires of my heart … I didn’t get my particular desire therefore I must have used the wrong technique to get what God wanted me to have (or more likely – what I wanted from God)… So, I will now try this new and greater technique in order to acquire the new and greater thing from God. This traveler with their view of God as one who responds to manipulation is headed into a wilderness of error barren of relational intimacy with God. It’s just hard to love a slot machine.
#3 Quitters
Another trail is quite short but popular nevertheless. Those taking it really just shift into neutral. They don’t want to renounce their faith. They want to retain the longterm benefits of Christianity (i.e. heaven) so they just settle into a manageable routine of Christian flavored activity and an unspoken vision of survival. They once took the risk. They put their hearts out there on some venture of faith only to have their expectations dashed. These travellers make an inner vow – a kind of pact with their own heart that says, “THAT will not happen again!” Since it is impossible to please God without faith (i.e. risk) this stalled-out traveler lives with the delusion that neutrality is safe.
#4 Abiders
Then there are those who, like all travelers, have their heart broken while living for that new particular thing which evaporated or exploded in their face. This one however has something in their heart that the victims, users and quitters did not. This one has abandoned their heart to a faithful Shepherd who pledges to see them to their high places. It is their understanding of God that he is both good and sovereign. So even though their natural vision appears to have collected evidence to the contrary, they press on. These are the disciples of Jesus Christ.
As the heart relinquishes its rights to itself and its bent on particulars the kingdom makes its advance. The heart may mourn briefly but its sorrow will be turned to joy as the disciple discovers that Jesus himself is the prize and that intimacy with Him eclipses the realization of any under-imagined particulars. Because God’s intention is to reward us with himself, he jealously attempts to protect us from putting our confidence and expectations in any of the myriad substitutes (idols).
God is indeed a rewarder of those who follow this pathway of faith where the disciple honors who God is and what he says above his own human appraisal of matters. The authentic disciple makes the same discovery that the Emmaus road travelers did: i.e.; The particulars of one’s expectations can be wrong. God was up to something far greater than establishing rulership over a geographic region or a singular nation. He was (and is) establishing his kingdom one heart at a time.
Father, as you did with your disciples, open our hearts and eyes to grasp the bigger picture of your redemption. Help us to let go of all our idols – making way for you, the King of glory, to triumph in our hearts, winning our affections away from all the competition. May we see the great commission and its inherent pathway of abiding-discipleship with unprecedented clarity. Let this be our new thing.
by RobertCummins | May 12, 2015 | 19. The Resurrection
John 20:19-31
Poor Thomas wasn’t there when Jesus showed up. I believe his experience raises an important question for those who would follow Jesus. How are we to think about our relationship with God when we, for reasons we cannot grasp, seem to be absent when Jesus shows up?
More Lord!
During a season in the mid-90’s, the phrase, “More Lord!” was prayed thousands upon thousands of times by people around the world. Many, but certainly not all, who prayed this prayer would say, “God indeed showed up!” Yet, there were those who earnestly desired to receive “more” who did not.
I came into the kingdom through a 2-phased God-encounter. The first was what most evangelicals refer to as “a salvation” experience. However it didn’t involve deep remorse over my sin or fear of hell. It involved a lonely young man who knew he was lost and felt that hell already had its grip on him. At the conclusion of a church service (which I stumbled into while trailing a girl) I was asked if I would like to invite Jesus Christ into my heart as my personal savior. I recall my words as if they were yesterday. With more earnestness than I had ever spoken, I said, “I don’t have a clue what your talking about. But, I will do this; I will give my life unconditionally to Jesus and He can do anything He wants with it.” To my utter astonishment, He took me at my word! Over a period of weeks something incredible transpired in my heart. Although this experience was radically transformational, it did not contain much emotion or drama beyond the miracle of peace in my heart and a new found freedom from bondage.
The second phase of my kingdom orientation happened after I had reconnected with some old friends and twisted off over a wild weekend. To say I felt miserable afterword would be a gross understatement. Because I had lost the peace and the joy that had consumed my heart for several months, I assumed I had lost my union with the One who had initially provided it. Its hard to describe how fearful and desolate my heart felt considering the prospect of having squandered the most precious thing I had ever experienced. As I headed back to my home on a two hour drive I experienced something that accounts for the reason I have spent the past 38 years mostly among those with Pentecostal leanings -most evangelicals withdrew from me when I told them about this experience. (I have wondered since if a muzzle should been issued to me at conversion.)
10,000 words would not suffice in describing what happened after I told God how sorry I was for squandering the joy and the peace which He had so freely and liberally given me. I learned a few things in the hour-long response from God to my broken heart’s plea to please do not take the Holy Spirit from me. Here is the briefest summary….. God was not angry! He did not express an iota of anger. He made it abundantly clear that He was my father and that he would always rescue me when I called out to him. It was also super clear that God is still speaking today and His unseen presence can be manifest to a man. Also, regarding God’s nature; His majesty is incomprehensible and His love is unfathomable!
I love using words to describe our inner life with God – this realm where our spirits connect with his but I have a deep conviction that human language is pitifully inadequate for this task. The best wordsmiths can only bring us near the approaches of God’s presence. And, even then, it would be my encounter not yours (or yours and not mine). Since they are not unique to Pentecostals nor to a brief season in the 90’s what’s to be done with the “More Lord!” sentiments of our hearts? I can only say that as his disciples we must learn to steward them.
Oh how deeply I wanted those mid-90’s “More Lord” prayers to result in a re-visitation of God which would inspire me as I had been in 1976. I felt I needed that wind of inspiration to move me through a deep slough of despond. It was not to come however, at least not as I had anticipated. After I had nearly exhausted myself trying to chase down another more Lord-encounter I eventually prayed something like this. It might sound familiar….
I don’t have a clue what you are doing God but I will do this; I will (once again) give my life unconditionally to you. You can do anything you want with it.
Again, He took me at my word and over a few years my heart was once again enjoying peace and joy.
If you read the bible and if you sample the stories of believers over time and throughout the world it is clear that God arranges for some to experience Him in dramatic fashion. We may think of these people as blessed and I believe they are. However, Jesus also says….
Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.
Because I have been both, one who has seen and one who did not see I want to say thank you to the Lord for permitting both but especially for the seasons of not seeing – those times where waiting has been the only option. In those unwanted (even resented) seasons I made the counterintuitive discovery that while I was striving for more I already had All. In Christ we have everything. He is our All in All. In retrospect I see that my “More Lord!” prayers contained unbelief, restlessness, dissatisfaction and complaint mingled in with my legitimate hunger. I might as well have said what was on my heart, which was, “Not enough Lord!”
The strife in my heart which was evidenced by my prayers (which I had identified as holy zeal) may have been unavoidable but it was by no means the long term condition God aspired for me. God wanted rest for my soul. There is a unique place in God where we deal with the apparent contradictions of hunger and rest, where we are deeply satisfied with each moment in him while our hearts are yet crying out for the intimacy which is destined to one day be consummated. Being aware of this may help us steward our thirst for Him.
I was inspired by my God encounter but it has been the seasons of waiting where I have discovered (and am working out) my identity in Christ which I consider to be my birthright. I have experienced a moment-in-time encounter with God and it was glorious but I believe I have benefited far more from the process of waiting on God, discovering by faith that He is always present (even when my feelings are uncooperative). It is while walking with him through life’s circumstances that I am coming to know Him and myself. This is what I understand to be discipleship.
Father help us to recognize our completeness in Christ. However impressive it might look, purge every ounce of religious striving from our being. At the same time, return to our heart’s their childlike joy and faith that unashamedly sees and asks for more and rightly understands your goodness and generosity. Teach our insecure hearts to embrace both the Word and the Spirit and to honor all men in their experience with you. Amen.
Epilogue; If you read the whole passage you find that Thomas eventually has his encounter with a very patient Lord who will not loose a single one that has been given him. We are God’s inheritance. He is supremely jealous and protective of us. It may be a mystery that goes unresolved on earth but in the process of putting our hearts and this world to rights he will use, as he always has, both encounter and process. For some, including Paul, God blesses them by just pouring out revelation, making the need of initial faith of less importance. For others, he reserves for them the privilege of acquiring their birthrights by faith, reserving for them the upside-blessing of those who have believed without seeing. The good news for disciples is that Thomas had his encounter and so shall we.
by RobertCummins | May 11, 2015 | 19. The Resurrection
John 20:1-18
I am the disciple that Jesus loved.
This was John’s declaration of himself. This was how he thought of himself. This reality shaped John’s identity. His head had rested only recently upon his Master’s chest. He was conditioned and entrenched in the reality of God’s personal affection for him. By most religious standards, John, in his simple childlike devotion, was outrageously presumptuous about His relationship with God. He had zero doubt regarding Jesus’ fondness of Him. He did not introspect about His fallen nature and the possible rejection by God it might portend.
John (who was certainly not without sin) had lived with him for three years and Jesus had never once harped on his depravity. John’s soul processed everything through this filter of unqualified acceptance and consequently he was spared the religious contortions of the soul which plague so many believers. He simply was not stalked as many are by guilt and shame.
The tremendously good news is that there is a safe place for us in Christ where we are immune from guilt and shame. In that space, which John pioneered, we can live joyously free in our identities which are rooted and founded in Christ. Our new identities, which have been freshly resurrected with Him, are eternally superior to our fallen identities which have been buried with Christ. Our lives, like John, can declare that we are those disciples whom Jesus loves. As we find our home in the broad and safe expanses of His love, we in turn will create safe space and shelter for those God has situated near us.
Father, may we lay hold of Your Life. May Your life lay hold of us. May Life shout, from our lives and lips, with a clarity yet to be heard in this earth, that we are the disciples whom You have loved. May our words and deeds make a clear declaration that You are risen from the grave and that you are transforming Your Church, exposing the lies of Satan, evicting him from his strongholds, reclaiming all that is rightly Yours. May every expression of our lives reflect that ours is a good and a sovereign God. Father, in our freshly acquired joy and freedom, receive the reward of Your sufferings. You are indeed astonishing.
